The first rule of thumb for getting along with House is: don't bother trying.

House hates people. Or at least that's what he'd like everyone (including himself) to think. The truth of the matter...all right, well the truth of the matter is that he does hate people. But if he was stranded all alone on a desert island, he would actually be even more miserable than usual because as irritating and annoying as people are, they also can't be beat when it comes to really good distractions: people are screwed up, convoluted, and contradictory; more to the point, a lot of them also get really cool diseases, and diseases are like puzzles. High stakes puzzles. House loves it when the stakes are high.
Despite being the very last person you'd probably want to have around in an emotional crisis, there's no one better than House at diagnosing and treating illnesses that no one else can solve. He's a manipulative S.O.B. but he's also right, and as far as he's concerned, that's all that really matters. He won't treat just anyone though: someone or something has got to get him interested first. A really weird combination of symptoms will do it. And so, sometimes, will a patient who's got some kind of a secret--someone who's weaving a lie that House wants to break through.

House hates lies, but he's also pragmatic about them: everybody lies, himself included. His own lies tend to be absolutely bald-faced, instrumental. When he lies to people it's either because he wants to test them (a catch-me-if-you-can, call-me-on-my-bullshit dare) or because he's advocating for one of his patients. When it comes to getting his patients the treatment they need, there is virtually no rule that he won't break.

"Would you mind holding my metaphor for a minute?"

"Cripple" is House's word choice for himself: derisive and politically incorrect; it's a good fit.




...{pls to be pardoning the dust, page is still under construction...feel free to vandalize at will <3 }